After having been asked more than once to do my readers the favour of spoon-feeding the ‘true meaning’ of my title, I felt obligated to have a draft “placemarker” sitting there for a good few weeks now.
So, here I go… 😀
Somehow it may seem strangely ironic that one of the most personal things about my blog is actually the title. But then, it would be rather blatantly obnoxious to have a blog title, and be blogging so many quite personal things, yet be too shy to actually “let on” what the blog is all about!
Now, the honest truth is that although “a glass beaker with a star inside” has been a “self-portrait quote” for years, there’s really not just one reason for why I’ve picked it as the title for my blog. It would be more accurate saying there is a collection of half-reasons that even I cannot fully explain.
To give a bit of context to it all, originally when I came up with the title I was in fifth year in school. Higher English, being encouraged to be creative, all that jazz. Not that I would ever let my ‘true’ creativity see the light of day, though… 😛 (or so I thought!)
Ok, so to actually get to the meat of the post…
Glass, because glass is transparent. You can see right through it. And what’s that got to do with me? Well…
- being naive – this is perhaps the one I feel most ashamed of, yet is likely the truest
- telepathy/ESP/other dubiously amusing theories
- the honest open-ness I strive for
- having made sign-language even more of an art form than I thought possible
Glass is also somewhat fragile… but even I am not owning up to that side quite yet 😉 I’m sure that, given time, enough tears will have been visible to convince even the most hardened sceptic.
The beaker? Well, I needed something star-sized 😛 yet suitably low-key to act as a container. I suppose it is also a nod in the direction of my scientific side.
And the star…
Well, I like to think of myself as a warm, friendly person. Ok, I know stars are rather closer to burningly hot than ‘warm’, but I’m not too keen on the idea of being too too warm – the glass beaker round it should shield off some of the heat, anyway. I’m aiming for that “just about right” balance, so I’d rather stretch the analogy to include ‘warm’ – artistic license and all that 😉
Stars are known for their light-giving properties. I would love to think I could provide light and happiness and a positive aspect to the lives of all those I come in contact with. Whether or not this is an accurate description of me is not for me to judge… but at least the fact that I care about bringing ‘brightness’ into people’s lives can probably also be taken from this analogy.
So yeah, a bit of a mish-mash of lots of stuff in there, but prettily compacted into a few seemingly innocuous ‘common’ words. But whatever the reasons, I’m sure it can easily be open for debate… or be opening a pandora’s box, one of the two!
I guess that’s the real reason I’ve taken so long to ‘explain’ my title – I actually didn’t want to state in black-and-white just how much of a self-portrait it really is. The way that I’ve felt as if even if I wanted to, I wasn’t free to keep secrets secret. And that my life wasn’t – nor ever could be – a secret. Hard as it was when I first realised this in fifth year, I don’t regret it for one moment. But just sometimes I do find it frightening.