Meccha died.

:’(

I just feel like sticking my head in the sand and crying.

Uni’s been getting me down again lately, and I aint too happy about that… Nothing in particular, that I’m aware of, just things in general all adding up wrong.

So, this is me at home again. Yet again not in the lab, but trying to do lab-work/other work at home like a diligent wee girl. I just can’t stand going to the lab to do work. Except Mondays. Surprisingly, I don’t mind Mondays these days, cos for once I don’t feel bad about never getting anything working. And also, I do concentrate solid on working while in the lab – I often find it hard to get that level of motivation at uni.

But anyways, I’m just going to have a wee sing instead to cheer me up:

Korwa ’se chindiba ime
naboigo korwa ’se
engoro, nigo nkorera
asore, Yehova.

Nyasae, igwa ‘riogi riane:
tiga ‘mato ao
ategerere eriogi
ri’amasabo aane.

(Zaburi 130:1,2)

At least the sun came out today! I like the sun. Long time since we last met. Last September most likely.

**Meant to update a few days ago, but after downloading ‘Clive’, I didn’t manage to use it yet. So, here’s me being lazy and not-using Clive. (Never quite got my head round the command-ine stuff I needed for it, in the 3minutes I had available to figure it.**

Anyways, this post is in celebration of me hunting out ’s livejournal and finding links/comments to lots of old school friends. ‘Twas interesting finding out what everyone’s up to nowadays!

A bit nostalgic too.. I ended commenting on nome’s latest post, cos she reminded us all of our days in Higher English together. I wasn’t in Mrs Taylor’s class, but she had some famous year-wide quotes that were going around And it was one of the memories that stands out from that year.

Lots has happened since then… to all of us. But we all did go to the same school for those few short years of our lives, and so do have some shared memories that are ’special’ in different ways.

I got a letter from one of my old teachers the other day. Quite sweet of her, actually, but wierd nonetheless, to discover how much has changed in just a few short years. Moved on, made discoveries, formed opinions, created personalities, and now we’d possibly hardly know each other if we met on the street. (Well, maybe give it a few more years, and we’d be completely unrecognisable, compared to the “grown up” schoolkids we were at the end of 6th year )

Anyways, java/ada/UML and lots more un-inviting stuff beckons…. *and* I got to be up really early tomorrow morning.. well, this morning (Already past midnight…! What is up with time-dilation problems in my life recently… :S)

Well, its second term now. So what’s uni like? Work, work, and just for variety, yet more work.

I suppose, all things considered, I’m not running off adrenalin completely right now… at least not the way I seemed to be at the end of last term. But, other than that, I just seem to be working virtually all the time…! Steady, solid-concentration working, rather than the panic-working of last term. That sounds good, in a way, but that’s partly only cos this term you (almost) start with a blank sheet again. Things haven’t quite built up to their full pressure yet . So, to sum up, I’ve been working (fun, fun and yet more fun).

Except Friday… I was kindof not feeling too great, and ended taking a whole two days off work of any kind. I felt really guilty about that afterwards, not so much cos I thought I should have been working when I was ill, but more thinking about how I might not be able to fulfill all my other commitments in the next few weeks while I’m trying to catch up on the lost time.

It does seem rather sad actually… I was talking to maz, and mentioned how I regretted taking all of Saturday off work. And she said “Is it really that bad!?” That kindof hit me a bit… it is bad!

So… with all this lack-of-work behind me, I decided to “take off most of Tuesday” too. Well, I was shattered when I came home, after not having done a lot of work in uni. I didn’t technically ‘decide’ not-to-work… it just happened like that. I’m not regretting it (yet ) since I am beginning to realise I need more winding-down time than I’m having. I just don’t have the spare hours anymore. I find I’m sleeping tons… not far off 8 hours a night, sometimes more. But it shows how much work I must be doing, that I’m constantly feeling drained.

Anyways, my current level of productivity is that I’ve tidied up some paperwork stuff. And… finally written myself a “work report” as Mr Watkins advised me to. He thought it would come in handy to refresh my memory before going for job interviews, etc. He is totally correct (as usual )… its just taken me a while to get round to actually doing it.

And, I’ve got an interview with Graham Technology on the 4th of February. It could be quite fun, if only I wasn’t already rather nervous about it… :S I suppose its not the end of the world if it doesn’t work out, but its *really* daunting, all the same.

Just to end this post on a positive note, my conversation window for the team project is coming along quite nicely. I’m starting to get the idea of all these swing listeners/handlers. Stuff is beginning to work quite well, even down to having toolTips just to be ‘professional’ about it all.

This is my proper ‘holiday post’… The last two were actually written at various stages in the holidays, but cos I wasn’t online, they’ve only just been posted…

Anyways, holidays were good! None of this “staying ’til 2:47 in the morning writing documents” business

So, what did I do?

Well, mainly spending time with friends and (extended) family. Showed various people a few of my Kenya photos (+apologies for unorganisation of the presentation.) Saw some of the kids DVD’s on my laptop, convincing me that my laptop was plenty good enough for me. As were the sweet wee portable USB speakers I got from James for my birthday. Esther discovered the joys of phoning my mobile, then hanging up on me before I answered. And she’d even done the job properly… she knew how to hide her number :S:P.

Went sledging on Christmas Day, and ended getting invited into the house of total strangers to get warmed up and eat mince pies… That was cool, especially as they also took us out ski-ing afterwards for the first time in our lives! They came to ours on Monday to go a walk with us. Always nice to make new friends… even if their minister isn’t exactly our bestest friend. (Incidentally, I *did* run into him in passing too… while on skis … but hey, it’s him that insists on all the ‘problems’ between him and ourselves so there’s nothing for me to be ashamed of. I’m perfectly willing to be friendly towards him, and would sure appreciate the common courtesy of having that friendship returned. But I guess its not to be :S)

Watched the news and all. 2004 will be remembered as “the year of the tsunami”. Many thought-provoking ideas/events surrounding it, as well as the awe-some reality of the event itself. It is a reminder to us how quickly vast numbers of people can die. Praying for the people still alive who have to cope with it all, and also for those who are working to help save their lives. It has troubled me to know what I could/can do to help. Many people have been giving money, but apart from that, there’s nothing else, short of going out there and doing what I could. But I do not believe it is a situation I am well-qualified to help in. I have a duty to finish my degree, I believe, and then see what is in store for me. At present, it would not have been the wisest decision to “go out and help”, tho’ the desire was there. But then, there’s not anything uniquely commendable about that, given the world-wide sympathy and help that has been forthcoming to the countries affected. Anyways, for me as an individual, I am to be sensible and realistic as well as doing good… the hard part is getting the balance… Giving up my degree now would mean not-using/realising my talents to whatever potential they have. And then I would be limited in what ways I was able to help in future. This therefore leads me to the conclusion that it really is my duty just to knuckle down and get this degree done.

To continue the story.. Dr Sutton arrived at our house on New Year’s Eve. It was good to see him, still alive and healthy (except for the 10-ish pills he takes every day)… now coming on for five or six years since he was ‘predicted’ to have died from cancer. He’d even been to India at the start of the year, “to see the railways” as had been a life-long dream. Looking back on it, he said he hadn’t quite realised what he was letting himself in for. He had his video of the railways, that gave a wee flavour of the kind of mentality that the Indians have. It was just so cool seeing it all like that! Just all the characteristics that make up a people, especially one that has such a ‘basic’ western influence. (Brought back memories of Kenya and all.) He told some sweet wee stories, for example, one of the hotel manager who lent him the use of his own personal car and driver to take him to church on Sabbath, after searching through the city for a christian church for him.

New Year was spent in Gairloch. This was quite a precious little dreamworld of a day. Tho’ it was about as dreach as is usual, the kindness of Rev Alfred, his wife, and Marwin, was particularly appreciated. As was the good-will of any in the Gairloch congregation who went out of their way to be kind to my Dad. Dr Sutton was there with us of course. He has a bit of a liking for Rev Alfred’s preaching, methinks. Apparently he had been at the three prayer-meetings in Gairloch in the last three weeks of the year! He has to travel a distance of the order of 100 miles, over “west coast roads” to get there, as well. It was thanks to his thoughtfulness that he took my Dad and me there for New Year. I now count Marwin a good friend. I never really knew her before, but now I do.

Made a website template for my Dad. He’s not sure if he’ll actually use it, but it was useful to me from an educational point of view anyway. If he can get any use out of it at all, so much the better. Dad seems quite keen on getting on with his website development plans… Once he got an efficient system up and running, he would have quite a minefield of information to put up there.